I have a friend who’s in the mist of an ongoing disagreement with her husband. And she came to me wanting to know if she was crazy, or if it was possible, there were other women like her, who felt the same way about something.
Here’s the situation.
Her husband spends huge amounts of time on facebook, chatting and messaging old girl friends and mutual friends of him and his wife, who happen to be women. And she doesn’t understand it. She feels ignored emotionally and doesn’t know how to encourage her husband to talk with her as his wife and best friend, instead of women with whom he is not married too.
She also can’t wrap her brain around the thought of why these women spend so much time in return, replying to his messages and continuing such conversations. Many of them are married themselves. All of them are LDS. She wonders if their husbands know what they are doing…..and if they do, why they are okay with it.
When she came to me and shared her troubles, I asked her if she had had a heart to heart talk with her husband of how what he is doing truly does hurt her. She said she had, but that he brushed her feelings aside, saying she was acting insecure and paranoid. That what he is doing is perfectly fine….that it isn’t any different than her chatting and messaging her own facebook friends. When she said that she never does what he does with guys on facebook…..in fact many of the girls he communicates with are not her friends, only his, (All of the guys who are her facebook friends are her husband’s as well.) He retorted back, “Well that’s your problem, not mine.”
I sat there completely at a loss of what to say….thinking to myself: “What is the difference between an emotional affair and a friendship with a person of the opposite sex?”
What would you have said to her?
Where do you draw the line with your spouse when it comes to ongoing communications with ex girlfriends, women co-workers, friends at church who are of the opposite sex, etc.?
Katy is a fan of blogging, family, music and anything chocolate. Her roller coaster of thoughts can be found at www.ourdaisylife.blogspot.com. Admission is always free.
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